Who are you?

Let me ask  you some  questions. Who are you? Do you really know yourself? What is that makes you you? Do you like who you are? Do you like how you are in the world or in private?

If you are not sure how to answer those questions, then it maybe time to really ponder them. After that ask yourself is there anything you would like to change or are you content?

It is so hard to be an individual with individual ideas and feelings today. We play the conformity game at work to please our bosses and coworkers. and we play the game at home to please our friends and family.

Would they like you, love you and appreciate you with out the game?

Answer this on a scale of one to ten. one being really bad and 10 being great, how happy are you with

family?
career?
health?
finances?
leisure time?

And how focused are you on each of these?
scale of one to ten...

Next what benifits are you getting from your answers? Even if your answers were 1's 2's or 3's there is still a benifit. you may have to look a little harder to find it, or may turn it around.

As an example... if you are really unhappy with your finances, and you are always asking friends and family for money. but on the other hand your really happy with your family. the benifit is that it keeps you connected to them. Even if the curcumstances of the relationship are not ideal.

So the next part  is how can you be happy with both, a good relationship with friends and family and created a healthier relationship with your finances?

Some changes may need to be made so that everyone benifits, and that all areas of your life are in balance.

Don't think about

You can't think about what you don't want to think about without thinking about it. 

Huh? Break that down slowly. If I say don't think about chocolate. Your brain will actually think about it for just a split second, and for that split second you may really want that chocolate. But then I said don't think about, and now you are stuck, because you thinking about it. 

This hold true for unpleasant things too. If I say don't think about crime, you're going to think about crime. 

So keeping that in mind, if you are wanting prosperity in your life? Should you be thinking about the lack of prosperity? 

No. Why not? Because your brain will accuay focus on the lack if instead of the abundance of it. 

If you're trying to attract something into your life, then don't think about the lack of it, think about how much you would like to have. 

This is hie the jaw of attraction works. If you concentrate on the jack then that is what you attract is more lack. 

It's a matter of samantics. This is why diets fail. We end up putting our concentration on the lack, or on the foods  we shouldn't eat while dieting instead of the wonderful benefits we receive doing the diet. 

It's why work is a four letter word. If you like work, then great, but if you don't like work, then it's a drag. And you will just make yourself more miserable wishing you are some place else. 

So. Let's think about what we do want to think about. Let's concentrate on the good stuff, and have a happy abundant life. 

Dream vs. Fantasy

What is the difference between a dream and a fantasy? You might think they are one in the same, but in this exercise they are not.

A dream is something you strongly desire. A dream is a hope for the future, a hope for something better.

A fantasy is a passing whimsy. It’s a daydream, another definition is “imagination, especially when extravagant and unrestrained.” That is from dictionary.com

A dream is what is going to lead you to the doorway of the future. It is something to attain. You can attach goals and actions to it. A fantasy can’t.

An example of a fantasy is flying away on the back of unicorn through a purple forest with the fairies and elves. Nice imagery huh?

What a good coach can do is help you tell the difference between fantasies and dreams, and then help you make goals and plans to achieve that dream. A good coach will also keep you on track towards that goal.

So, dreams are something we can act on to make our lives better, and fantasies are just merely products of our imaginations.

Dreaming for Real Coaching

This is a very exciting time. Learning new things, and getting to know new people. Setting new goals….

I have added the word “Coaching” to the name of this blog. Why?--because that is what is next for me. I have had success in terms of maintaining weight loss, and I want to share what I have learned with people.

There is so much information out there, and some of it is misleading and confusing. Especially when one diet says eat this and another says don’t. We can work together to find out which information works best for you.

And coaching is not just about dieting. That’s just part of my story. I have had success in other areas too. Also I believe that we all need support and guidance.

 Everyone can use a cheerleader from time to time.

As a coach I will help you with your goals and help you break them down in to realistic manageable bits.

  Just a quick note about me: I have an extensive customer service background; I have worked in the retail industry and in fast food. My longest “gig” was with a retreat/resort center. I took care of reservations and then managed the entire reception staff. That part of my life lasted almost 20 years.

Since that time I have been in the telecommunications industry. Teaching and coaching customers in regards to their phone and internet service. Sometimes what you want to show people takes more than just a 15 minute phone call.
And that’s another part of my story.

Five years ago, a friend told me to go into coaching. I guess he saw something in me. Now i see it in myself.

My favorite quote is: “One should never stand in the shadow of one’s own success.”

Please feel free to leave me any comments and suggestions.


Namaste


Kimberly

Common Sense Diet Rules

It is so important to find a weight loss program that fits you. It doesn’t make any sense to go on a weight loss regiment that has you eating or drinking something that disagrees with you. If your diet calls for milk and you’re allergic, don’t drink the milk, or find a different diet.

Common sense plays a big part in picking a diet also. How long can sustain how you are eating? Make sure it’s a good change. Something you can maintain for a life time.

And speaking of diets, are you still working on that New Years’ Resolution?

Some common sense do’s and don’ts:

Do pick a diet that fits your lifestyle

Do watch portions (be honest about how much you eat)

Be honest about the reasons you want to lose weight

 

Don’t eat something you’re allergic to even if some diet plan says you should

Don’t starve (just eating celery sticks is not satisfying)

Don’t eat when you’re upset

Don’t go to bed full

Decide to decide

Oh the agony of making a decision and committing to it; and we have to make decisions every day. If we don’t actually decide sometimes circumstances decide for us. That doesn’t always lead to the best outcome, and we often don’t get what we want. So decide.

I’m of course speaking about weight loss and health. If you don’t decide and keep doing what you’re doing, there are consequences-- Poor health, no stamina, no flexibility, higher doctor bill and in insurance bills, and another nasty-- Higher grocery bills.  No one ever thinks about that one, but eating less means losing weight, and not paying so much each week for food.

There are several good programs out there to help. The good ones offer education, support and some common sense. One thing you will do on a good program is keep a food journal. That means logging everything you put in your mouth. That’s right everything from your first sip of coffee to the last bite of ice cream. Please be honest when you do this, but try not to be judgmental with yourself. This just defeats the process. The point is to make a decision, and stay with it.

weight loss

Sometimes it blows my mind that the weight loss industry makes billions of dollars each year. It also blows my mind how much of that money is spent on gimmicks and fads that don’t work. Actually, that is quite sad. We are looking for quick fixes and miracles, when really there isn’t one.

Want to really lose weight and keep it off? It’s going to take time and little work and some common sense. Oops. Did I say work? Did I say time?  Oh dear. Think about this. It took time to put the weight on and it will take some time and effort to take it off, and keep it off.

Now granted there are a lot of different diets and plans to take weight off, but there are not a lot of programs that will help maintain it once it’s off. That’s a little more difficult, because sometimes it means a lifestyle makeover.

Lifestyle makeovers are really not that difficult if you are ready to make the change. Just make a few minor adjustments, and voila! —it’s the new you! 

Sometimes a person needs a little assistance and support to make those changes. Everyone can use a cheerleader. Granted, that’s looks different to each person. But when we are doing something new or different we need a support system.

The hard part: Making the decision:  

We will talk more about this.

Embracing the Shadow

What scares you? What is that makes you look over your shoulder? What is that keeps you from doing what you want to do with your life?

I call it the shadow. The shadow is the darkness that lurks just under the surface. It’s the part that makes us fret and regret. It’s the procrastination. It’s the maybe and the self doubt. It’s the thing that can make us stuck and bitter.

So why in the world do we want to embrace such negative feelings? Because sometimes we need to acknowledge and accept the dark parts of ourselves before we can move on.

When you’ve reach the dead stop at the end. Do you want to go out in painful whimper full of sorrow, anger and regret, or do you want to the one that slides in like its home plate, bruised, bloody, and saying what a ride. Do you envy the people that do that?  In other words they have lived hard, played hard, loved well and have few if any regrets?

Well, and then do it. Don’t just sit there eating that second brownie watching bad sitcoms. Get up and do something. Love something- starting with you.

Tell me, what lives in your shadow? What does your shadow say about you? OK, so this is the experiment. Look at it examine it. look at all sides of it. look into it. Take small steps if necessary. You don't have to live there, but in order to deal with it, you do have to embrace it.

Fortunately most of are not axe wheeling psycho-sociopaths with narcissistic tendencies, but lurking in the darkness maybe some anger, fear, lothing, jealousy and regret. Your're not plotting your coworder's demise, evan though he did something that made you mad. 

My point is you recogonize the anger, but you need a way to deal with so it doesn't consume you.

You need to embrace it because it is part of you. but that's not all you are, and anger if you let it, passes.

We will work on this more in the weeks to come. Take a deep breath. this too shall pass.
Namaste

Happy New Year

Changing your habits.

Did you make a New Year’s resolution? Yes.  Do you really want to stick to it? Yes. In order to stick to your resolutions sometimes minor lifestyle changes need to happen.

If your resolution was to lose weight, and you really want to keep it off then a lifestyle shift needs to happen. Eating is such a big part of our lives. But I am not going to talk about eating. I am talking about making small changes in the way we think in order to make that resolution stick.

This may require you to think differently.  Here is a neat trick. When you interlock your fingers, which thumb is on top? Don’t think about it. Just do it. Now look. Try to do it the other way. It feels strange doesn’t it?

Ok, here is the experiment. Do that every day. Interlock your fingers the other way. Do it every day, and hold it for two minutes.  It’s going to drive you crazy at first, but when you do this; your brain is actually making a new pathway. Making new pathways in the brain help keeps us young, and may prevent dementia as we age.

It’s also a very good exercise in thinking about lifestyle changes in order to keep those resolutions. Just one change, one little shift can make a world of difference.

A Chance Encounter

Happy  New Year all you dreamers.

The restaurant was a lively place that evening. The windows were fogged over. It was very cold outside that late November night. A warm glow filled the large room. Everyone had piles of coats, scarves and gloves next to them.

There were several tables of chatting patrons. I sat at the end of a row of tables against the stone wall. There was a birthday party going on.  Then she came in.  As she unbundled herself, bags and coat and scarves went everywhere. She sat down in the vacant seat next to me.

After pouring a glass of wine, she turned to me, and struck up a conversation.  In the past we had exchanged pleasentries, but never really conversed about anything.

In the course of the conversation she told me she could “read” people. It was a gift that seemed to come and go. She took another sip of wine and ordered some soup.

When she turned back to me she said. You are smarter than you let on.  You are having trouble with a physical issue, and you’re intuition is very strong, if you let it. She turned away from me to wish happy birthday to the head of the table, then went back her wine…

I think I was shocked because she nailed me. That was 10 years ago, and these things have not changed.

Let’s see, to check in. I’m still having the same physical problem, only now a little worse. Yes, I am smart, but sometimes don’t let on because, don’t want to come off like I’m arrogant, and my first instinct is still always correct. Whether I choose to follow it or not, well that’s a different matter.  

So my point is, it is not really how much you know, but how much you believe you know, and what you are willing to do with it. My advice, quit being noble, and be smart and intuitive if that is who you are. I bet you will be happier if you do. Have confidence.  More to come on this….

Why Dream?

So it is almost the new year. Looking back, did you accomplish anything? Did you get another step closer to your dreams and goals? Did you make any? Or do you still think dreaming is for  children and fools? 

Well my friends dreaming is real. Dreaming on purpose is the first step to a new life  or making the current one better. 

Let's talk about dreaming for real.  Dreaming is what makes the thing real. I am not not talking about flights of fancy or pie in the sky. I am talking about real things and ideas you can have that you didn't think before were possible. 

You don't have to be an Edison or a da Vinci to create. Although da Vinci was one if the greatest dreamers in history. So what is the difference? He took is dream and he put in on paper, and then built it- Like his flying model. 

What inspired Thomas Edison to create and invent? First he had to gave a dream,  and then did't let go of it until the thing emerged. The light bulb, the phonograph for instance. 

So what is in you're imagination? What are you wanting to create? Let's dream for real. 

 

Dream Photos

Fear

How to stop being afraid. Where to find the motivation to keep moving when you are afraid and stuck. Move or be crushed. Move or die. Yet all you feel like doing is hiding, or running away. 

Fear is such a strange and overwhelming emotion. It stagnates it sickens and paralyzes. The body feels tight breathing becomes more and more difficult. The mind runs in circles.

 

Yet on some level we need fear. It teaches us. it Keeps us from doing stupid things, like going in the cave with the bear, or playing playing in traffic.  When fear takes over is when it is a bad emotion. 

Think for a minute. Why are you afraid? If you are wanting to do something that is new and different start with some research. Working on a project calms fear. 

Working towards the goal also let's you know if the goal is worthy of pursuing, or if it right for you. A little reflection is good, but don't reflect too long. This leads to procrastination. Fear and procrastination are not a good combination. 

Also find something to laugh at.   Laughter relieves tension. It releases endorphins that make us feel good.   

So how do you take the leap and face what you fear. Roosevelt said all me have to fear is fear itself. Or another of the catch phrases was Nike's just do it. 

Sounds dumb but true. Get up and do it. Move towards your goals, because sitting still, while being afraid moves you away from them. 

So get up, go for a walk. Clear the mind. But don't stop. Keep moving towards your goals. Don't let fear rule. Take the leap.