Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Embracing the Shadow

What scares you? What is that makes you look over your shoulder? What is that keeps you from doing what you want to do with your life?

I call it the shadow. The shadow is the darkness that lurks just under the surface. It’s the part that makes us fret and regret. It’s the procrastination. It’s the maybe and the self doubt. It’s the thing that can make us stuck and bitter.

So why in the world do we want to embrace such negative feelings? Because sometimes we need to acknowledge and accept the dark parts of ourselves before we can move on.

When you’ve reach the dead stop at the end. Do you want to go out in painful whimper full of sorrow, anger and regret, or do you want to the one that slides in like its home plate, bruised, bloody, and saying what a ride. Do you envy the people that do that?  In other words they have lived hard, played hard, loved well and have few if any regrets?

Well, and then do it. Don’t just sit there eating that second brownie watching bad sitcoms. Get up and do something. Love something- starting with you.
Tell me, what lives in your shadow? What does your shadow say about you? OK, so this is the experiment. Look at it examine it. look at all sides of it. look into it. Take small steps if necessary. You don't have to live there, but in order to deal with it, you do have to embrace it.

Fortunately most of are not axe wheeling psycho-sociopaths with narcissistic tendencies, but lurking in the darkness maybe some anger, fear, lothing, jealousy and regret. Your're not plotting your coworder's demise, evan though he did something that made you mad. 

My point is you recogonize the anger, but you need a way to deal with so it doesn't consume you.

You need to embrace it because it is part of you. but that's not all you are, and anger if you let it, passes.

We will work on this more in the weeks to come. Take a deep breath. this too shall pass.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Happy New Year

Changing your habits.

Did you make a New Year’s resolution? Yes.  Do you really want to stick to it? Yes. In order to stick to your resolutions sometimes minor lifestyle changes need to happen.

If your resolution was to lose weight, and you really want to keep it off then a lifestyle shift needs to happen. Eating is such a big part of our lives. But I am not going to talk about eating. I am talking about making small changes in the way we think in order to make that resolution stick.

This may require you to think differently.  Here is a neat trick. When you interlock your fingers, which thumb is on top? Don’t think about it. Just do it. Now look. Try to do it the other way. It feels strange doesn’t it?

Ok, here is the experiment. Do that every day. Interlock your fingers the other way. Do it every day, and hold it for two minutes.  It’s going to drive you crazy at first, but when you do this; your brain is actually making a new pathway. Making new pathways in the brain help keeps us young, and may prevent dementia as we age.

It’s also a very good exercise in thinking about lifestyle changes in order to keep those resolutions. Just one change, one little shift can make a world of difference.

Friday, January 3, 2014

A Chance Encounter

Happy  New Year all you dreamers.
The restaurant was a lively place that evening. The windows were fogged over. It was very cold outside that late November night. A warm glow filled the large room. Everyone had piles of coats, scarves and gloves next to them.

There were several tables of chatting patrons. I sat at the end of a row of tables against the stone wall. There was a birthday party going on.  Then she came in.  As she unbundled herself, bags and coat and scarves went everywhere. She sat down in the vacant seat next to me.

After pouring a glass of wine, she turned to me, and struck up a conversation.  In the past we had exchanged pleasentries, but never really conversed about anything.

In the course of the conversation she told me she could “read” people. It was a gift that seemed to come and go. She took another sip of wine and ordered some soup.

When she turned back to me she said. You are smarter than you let on.  You are having trouble with a physical issue, and you’re intuition is very strong, if you let it. She turned away from me to wish happy birthday to the head of the table, then went back her wine…

I think I was shocked because she nailed me. That was 10 years ago, and these things have not changed.

Let’s see, to check in. I’m still having the same physical problem, only now a little worse. Yes, I am smart, but sometimes don’t let on because, don’t want to come off like I’m arrogant, and my first instinct is still always correct. Whether I choose to follow it or not, well that’s a different matter.  

So my point is, it is not really how much you know, but how much you believe you know, and what you are willing to do with it. My advice, quit being noble, and be smart and intuitive if that is who you are. I bet you will be happier if you do. Have confidence.  More to come on this….